Dating Tips: Letting a girl know you’re for real
Attract women by demonstrating credibility and creating a sense of deep trust and understanding.
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Or better yet, how do you let her know that the vibe you’re putting off in the beginning is the real you?
How does she know that after she sleeps with you all of what you said will be backed up?
All three of these questions have the same answer.
When most guys think they don’t have enough value, 90% of the time, it’s credibility they lack. In fact, most of everything used to create value these days only serves to make a nasty woman-repelling player vibe.
(and anyone who’s anyone KNOWS I don’t even teach value. Not for a damn second!)
“Player vibe” is not actually a bad vibe, but a mistake in building and maintaining credibility.
Being able to create credibility is one of the key components to sleeping with a girl quickly.
The other component is sexual tension.
And as a good student of pick-up, you know that some women need sexual tension to sleep with you and the other half need credibility first. (You do know that, right?)
So let’s get down to it:
There are three levels of credibility.
Safety: The most basic and fundamental level of credibility, you need to demonstrate SAFETY before a woman will be alone with you and sleep with you.
Commonality: You need to demonstrate commonality in order for a woman to continue sleeping with you, or have a relationship with you.
Direction: You need to show direction in order to get a woman to leave her current boyfriend or change her existing life plans to be with you.
A WORD ABOUT SOCIAL PROGRAMMING ->
You have to realize that every person you meet is socially programmed in a different way. Even you have social programming. We all do.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, it’s very useful.
Realize that although we understand a lot of a woman’s behaviors come from her social programming, we can’t expect her to realize that.
While men have evolved an instinct to try to sleep with as many women as possible, women have evolved an instinct to choose guys who demonstrate a high chance of sticking around to raise children.
And this instinct is reinforced by social programming.
Her programming is her reality. Her programming is literally her world.
And credibility is about showing you understand her world.
HERE’S AN EXAMPLE ->
Think about if you were in your bedroom. Comfortably warm sitting in a chair.
And then a guy came in. And he said he was cold. And wanted to turn up the heat. Then he told you he liked the couch you were sitting in. And asked if he could urinate in the corner.
You would feel pretty uncomfortable with him. You might even think he’s crazy.
He’s showing you that he’s not seeing the same reality as you. He’s “in his own world”.
I bet you wouldn’t trust a guy like that.
Because he has shown you that he doesn’t understand your world, and doesn’t respect your world – you probably wouldn’t connect with him, or feel like giving him compliance.
This is how women feel when you don’t demonstrate credibility.
If she thinks that it’s a bad thing for people to kiss and tell (and most women do) -> You should show her you ALSO believe it’s bad for people to kiss and tell.
The fact that you have the same perceptions about the world as her will build your credibility immensely.
You can think of the three levels in this way:
Safety – It’s safe to have you in her world.
Commonality – You see the same things in her world. (Similar perceptions, values, and goals)
Direction – You have the ability to rearrange and alter her world.
These are best demonstrated in order.
And you can get really good at this. At first, guys are usualy good at meeting a certain kind of woman.
It’s because he naturally understands a certain type of worldview.
But as you get good, you’ll start to be able to match ANY woman’s worldview.
The best way of doing this is by anticipating her thoughts and verbalizing her feelings or views about the world, as if they are your own.
At first you will just be remembering things she’s said in the past, and then repeating it after she’s forgotten she’s said anything.
Then you will get good at pacing her reality and leading. Eventually it gets to the point where you can intuitively understand her reality. Then she will trust you to change it for her. You enter her world, and then start teaching her new
things about HER world.
That’s when you know you get this thing.
When someone comes along who understands a woman’s reality so well, she doesn’t just think he’s perceptive and skilled, she just feels a connection.
She thinks “He’s just like me!”
This is really the easiest thing in the world. Yet so many people mess it up.
It’s a major piece and you’ll watch your game improve dramatically once you get this.